Friday, April 18, 2008

From 'you and me' to 'hum'

It takes lot more work to maintain a relationship than to get into one.
That's the moral of the story of the movie 'U me aur hum'.
So true!

My parents had an arranged marriage, have a huge age difference and are very different from each other. They keep fighting like all couples do. Still they have maintained their relationship quite well for over 30 years.

My friend M married a man of her choice after dating for 5 years. After another 5 years, she confides in her close friends that she seriously regrets her choice. Reason: Certain differences in their nature that she didn't take seriously during the dating phase.

Is financial security and a more accepting society making us less tolerant? Are we giving up much easily when things don't match up with our expectations?

Thanks to 'U me aur hum' for reminding us to put in that extra effort.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

well this is okay..but how could they miss u under the blanket????

Satanic Angel said...

i so agree with u..
financial security and a less orthodox society is definietly making us less tolerant..break ups n divorces r in the air like never before..
and I so so agree on putting in effors in a relationship..nurturing is wat it requires, and sadly very few guys know it!

Pavi!!!! said...

Hhahahah Samby..ur super confused! now i know tht comment is for me..visit my blog for the response :)))))

Pavi!!!! said...

P..i loved this post...so short and yet conveyed such an imp thing!

here's my take..yes..financial security & Being part of a "forward society" has made us less tolerant! These days ppl are getting into a marrg wit the thot that the option of divorce exsists. n thts very sad. I feel one shld give it their best n if things don't work, then is okay to break-up.
Therz a thin line...between taking nonsense & giving our best to make the relp work.

Every1 is seeking the non-existent "perfection" these days!

Ankur said...

I always believe that its impossible to know a person irrespective of the fact how so much time we spend with him/her? We all fake or sometimes dont show up things...

In this world, we all tend to put the blame on others, so when we get into a relationship forced(not my personal opinion) by our parents, we always have a reason to say a thing or two... we give up too easily coz we think we have grown up and can take decision for ourselves...

Whosoever says yes to it... when u dont have the guts to fight with the decision... then atleast u shld have the guts to make it happen...

Marriage is an institution, which brings loyalty, respect, understanding and adjustment into our lives... we should try and give the same. :)
Reciprocation is mutual and a neccessity... :)

Cheers!!!

Anonymous said...

srry that comment was not for u...:-)....

Unknown said...

Not sure what.. but I do see that we are getting more and more less tolerant in these days of instant everything.

J (NOT) the Boyfriend :P

P said...

@ Elusive: hope you are not indicating towards a particular guy :) I saw your post that you deleted later. Hope everything is alright now.

@ Pavi: Thanks for the nice words :)

I agree with everything you said. One should never tolerate real nonsense and one shouldn't think of breaking-up because everything is not perfect. Both the extremes are unhealthy.

@ Ankur: Wow looks like you have thought about this a lot :)
Yes, we probably will keep discovering new things all our lives and we need to keep an open mind to adjust to some of the things that we might not like..of course it has to be mutual.

@ J: Hi and welcome to my blog! I actually panicked for a second thinking that 'the boyfriend' has discovered my secret world :)

I was going to write about the 'instant everything' issue. Yes, that's probably another reason for so many break-ups and divorces. No one has time now to put effort for anything including relationships. sigh

Solitaire said...

I don't know. Times are changing and we are changing with them. Frankly speaking, I did not like the movie at all. Totally unrealistic.

Satanic Angel said...

hey~yep a minor glitch tat was..u r right on, i WAS talkin of a particular guy..ya deleted it coz everythins fallen back in place :D

P said...

@ Solitaire: Well, it is a commercial hindi movie..so I don't have too much expectation from it. I just liked the moral of the story because I think many times we give up little too easily.

@ Elusive: I'm glad that everything is alright :)

Pri said...

as usual the accepting society is almost always accepting the wrong ppl...

there are two kinda ppl or rather situations...
one in wch the ppl involved should be kicked right back into the petty issues where a lil adjustment is all thats needed...
and the other wherein u just gotta welcome them home realising the fact that its inevitable...
often the society confuses the two situations and does exactly the opposite...and thats where the prob lies...

and then again, who decides the limit...and on what basis do we decide it??
its a messy situation and i guess financial security and the society shud just be kept out of it...

RiĆ  said...

So true!U Me Aur Hum did remind us to put in tht extra effort in our relationship! :)

P said...

@ Pri: Very nicely put.
You know I am thinking maybe society is just in our individual minds. If we care what people will say, we pay attention to what they are saying and give them a chance to affect us. If we don't care, we don't listen and people stop saying things. That is why the discrimination in acceptance.
Hmm I might be on to a mantra for myself here :)

@ Ria: Hello!
Glad you agree with me :)

aneri_masi said...

We are just getting less tolerant, and have expectations that are quite unachievable. The grass just seems greener on the other side. In our parents days girls were not financially independent, and so made more efforts to adjust. Besides that, the "roles" each person played were defined quite well. The husband earns, the wife cooks. Nowadays there is no such definition, and one person ends up feeling like they are shouldering all the responsibility. There are just way too many factors coming into the picture.

P said...

@ AM: Yes, you are very right. I never thought about it this way.

Anonymous said...

financial security, well this is one of the glaring reasons to see marriages crumbling.....with time women have got more chance to be independent financially and they wnt stick to an unhappy reln anymore... and yes this days there is no patience and time to work out the marriage....

for more on this i hv written hugely on my blog :))