Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Uncertainty is the Killer
O good-news-about-jobs, please, please, come my way soon. Any one of you will do. This uncertainty and fear of being jobless is killing me.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Characterless is NOT equal to Cool
Why does Indian media portray all the wrong habits as 'being cool' these days?
Chain smoking, drinking until one pukes, substance abuse, using filthy bad words in every sentence, having no attachment relationships, extra-marital affairs, wearing provocative clothes and dancing in most vulgar ways, being violent...all seem to be the essential characters for anyone to be popular and desirable now. I agree that they eventually show a 'good heart' in these characters, but I am afraid most people only learn the first part. I am seeing an alarming rate of these characters seeping into my younger cousins and family friends. It's not that people from my generation or earlier ones didn't do all these things. But, there seemed to be sense of shame attached to all these habits and people tried to keep their bad habits as secrets. But the younger people today seem to really think these things are 'cool' and are proud to showcase their habits!
My cousin, who is learning photography to be a professional, did her first practice photo-shoot that shows a guy smoking in most of the photos. She asked my opinion on the pics and I said I don't like the subject. She was really surprised and then said that she likes 'macho men'. When I asked "What's macho about filling your and everyone's lungs with poison?", she had no answer and said "Just relax. It's not that serious. It's cool." Hmm.
My Indian neighbor's son, who is in his early 20s and is a otherwise normal decent guy, has no problem using bad words, talking about girls as if they are objects, about pot smoking etc. openly on social networks with his friends. I am sure a large majority of guys talk trash with their friends, but I have never seen any of my friends or family members (who are my age or older), talking trash in front of the whole world. I have never heard my father use a single bad word in my life, and the only time I have heard J use some slang is when his college roommate calls, but that too he always goes in a different room to take the call.
When I read blogs, I see a lot of Indian girls in their 20s talk about being depressed (for standard reasons that people have in 20s in probably every generation), and they describe how they try to forget their sorrow and problems by drinking, smoking and partying, with great pride. Of course they should be proud of handling their problems in life, but shouldn't there be some shame about not being able to handle them in sober state? It seriously bothers me and scares me a lot about my little nieces.
The bad habit that has reached my generation the most seems to be extra-marital affairs. I heard quite a lot of those among my extended circle of friends within past few years, some of which resulted in divorces and breaking families for their little kids. On my recent trip to India, two of my friends jokingly (I hope) mentioned that they are thinking of having one too, so that they don't become the odd ones!
People always blame Western culture. Having lived in US for nearly 9 years now, I have to say we need to stop blaming others and look at our methods. If we do what they are doing in western world, we should also implement strict censorship regulations like them.
A little kid in India can go to their neighboring grocery store and buy cigarettes saying that I am buying it for my dad. In US you have to show a valid ID that tells the shopkeeper that you are over 21 years old. Same goes for alcohol. No will sell or serve alcohol to anyone below 21 years. In nightclubs, they will put a x mark on underage kids' hands so that they are not served any alcohol. I agree many kids go into lot of trouble to bypass the regulations, but at least it stops most of the regular kids from attaining habits that they will regret when they grow older. No such strict regulations exist in India as far as I know.
Just putting an 'A' in a movie certificate or a statuary warning, and bleeping a few things shouldn't be the end of all responsibilities. All movies and programs in US are rated based on age limit (general, 13 yr, 17 yr). Underage kids won't be allowed in a theater and they will be asked for ID if the age is not clear from appearance. For Indian movies, everyone is allowed to go for most movies with their kids of all ages! In US, all programs shown on regular TV before 9 pm are clean and the really bad ones come only after midnight. Cable TV channels do not have all the regulations, but they come with parental lock options. I think they have recently started the parental lock in India, but I haven't seen anyone using it. I noticed many people watching pretty horrible reality shows with their kids! So I guess we also need an education to keep up with the changes in media to safeguard our kids' minds.
But first, we need to stop showing that being characterless is cool. If you need to show someone practicing bad habits in a movie, please highlight that they are doing so because they are weak, confused and lost. Don't make them the popular, desirable person. Please don't make cheating on one's wife to be a fun thing to do.
I am really getting old. I wrote one of my longest post so far ranting on changing times and degrading moral values! :p
Chain smoking, drinking until one pukes, substance abuse, using filthy bad words in every sentence, having no attachment relationships, extra-marital affairs, wearing provocative clothes and dancing in most vulgar ways, being violent...all seem to be the essential characters for anyone to be popular and desirable now. I agree that they eventually show a 'good heart' in these characters, but I am afraid most people only learn the first part. I am seeing an alarming rate of these characters seeping into my younger cousins and family friends. It's not that people from my generation or earlier ones didn't do all these things. But, there seemed to be sense of shame attached to all these habits and people tried to keep their bad habits as secrets. But the younger people today seem to really think these things are 'cool' and are proud to showcase their habits!
My cousin, who is learning photography to be a professional, did her first practice photo-shoot that shows a guy smoking in most of the photos. She asked my opinion on the pics and I said I don't like the subject. She was really surprised and then said that she likes 'macho men'. When I asked "What's macho about filling your and everyone's lungs with poison?", she had no answer and said "Just relax. It's not that serious. It's cool." Hmm.
My Indian neighbor's son, who is in his early 20s and is a otherwise normal decent guy, has no problem using bad words, talking about girls as if they are objects, about pot smoking etc. openly on social networks with his friends. I am sure a large majority of guys talk trash with their friends, but I have never seen any of my friends or family members (who are my age or older), talking trash in front of the whole world. I have never heard my father use a single bad word in my life, and the only time I have heard J use some slang is when his college roommate calls, but that too he always goes in a different room to take the call.
When I read blogs, I see a lot of Indian girls in their 20s talk about being depressed (for standard reasons that people have in 20s in probably every generation), and they describe how they try to forget their sorrow and problems by drinking, smoking and partying, with great pride. Of course they should be proud of handling their problems in life, but shouldn't there be some shame about not being able to handle them in sober state? It seriously bothers me and scares me a lot about my little nieces.
The bad habit that has reached my generation the most seems to be extra-marital affairs. I heard quite a lot of those among my extended circle of friends within past few years, some of which resulted in divorces and breaking families for their little kids. On my recent trip to India, two of my friends jokingly (I hope) mentioned that they are thinking of having one too, so that they don't become the odd ones!
People always blame Western culture. Having lived in US for nearly 9 years now, I have to say we need to stop blaming others and look at our methods. If we do what they are doing in western world, we should also implement strict censorship regulations like them.
A little kid in India can go to their neighboring grocery store and buy cigarettes saying that I am buying it for my dad. In US you have to show a valid ID that tells the shopkeeper that you are over 21 years old. Same goes for alcohol. No will sell or serve alcohol to anyone below 21 years. In nightclubs, they will put a x mark on underage kids' hands so that they are not served any alcohol. I agree many kids go into lot of trouble to bypass the regulations, but at least it stops most of the regular kids from attaining habits that they will regret when they grow older. No such strict regulations exist in India as far as I know.
Just putting an 'A' in a movie certificate or a statuary warning, and bleeping a few things shouldn't be the end of all responsibilities. All movies and programs in US are rated based on age limit (general, 13 yr, 17 yr). Underage kids won't be allowed in a theater and they will be asked for ID if the age is not clear from appearance. For Indian movies, everyone is allowed to go for most movies with their kids of all ages! In US, all programs shown on regular TV before 9 pm are clean and the really bad ones come only after midnight. Cable TV channels do not have all the regulations, but they come with parental lock options. I think they have recently started the parental lock in India, but I haven't seen anyone using it. I noticed many people watching pretty horrible reality shows with their kids! So I guess we also need an education to keep up with the changes in media to safeguard our kids' minds.
But first, we need to stop showing that being characterless is cool. If you need to show someone practicing bad habits in a movie, please highlight that they are doing so because they are weak, confused and lost. Don't make them the popular, desirable person. Please don't make cheating on one's wife to be a fun thing to do.
I am really getting old. I wrote one of my longest post so far ranting on changing times and degrading moral values! :p
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