I should start writing in the meantime. 2 years completed in this post-doc. Time to write down some real papers!
Time to start thinking of jobs hunts too!!!!
The problem is that the current situation works little too well for me. Academically, my current project fits my interests and qualifications perfectly. Personally, the location of my job lets me have a regular life with J. The thought of changing the situation is not very motivating.
What if the job I like and manage to get takes me away from J? I don't want to do long distance relationship again. I have already done my share of that and more!
I know J will move with me, if we have to. But it will be a shame to ask him to do so. Silicon Valley is the best place to be for any software engineer, and he has spent so much of his life establishing himself and forming connections here. How can I ask him to start all over again?
I don't like taking up just any job. I have spent a lot of time and energy on my career too. Will I find something I like here again?
Among all these uncertainties, Mrs. M has already mentioned the baby thing twice. Bah. How can I tell a relatively stranger elderly person that the way she looks at life is not the same way I look at it? I am only used to communicating with my mother who mostly understands me (after all she made me the way I am), or I can yell at her if she even remotely acts like Mrs. Bennet. Does anyone have any suggestions on communicating with mother-in-laws, without being rude?
4 comments:
P,
Visiting after forced break, as mentioned in my space. At times solution to the problem is right there but we in our tense search miss it out. What exactly is your question to which you are seeking answer? So considerate of you about J and I am sure this must have made him not only proud of you but inceased his love for you manifold. I am sure you will find right vocation which is to your heart too. You may politely tell Mrs M that you both too are looking for addition but little later as J is trying to establish himself little more soundly and you too wish to join something worthwhile. You may also add that you are also keen to promote them as soon as it becomes feasible. Best of luck.
Take care
The problems I am seeking answer are work problems. I am scientific researcher. We set out to resolve some unknown scientific question using different experiments. Sometimes we get the answers, but most of the times we don't. Then we have to start thinking of what other experiments can we do. This cycle continues many times. Getting frustrated regularly is part of being a scientist :) The rare days when things work out make the process totally worth it though!
Thanks for your great advice about my personal problem. Yes I guess I have to learn a way to politely explain things to my new family. Actually I never had to explain anything to my parents. I was never brought up to think of myself as 'a girl who has to get married and have kids'. My new family on the other hand is very traditional and think that a woman's first priority is to get married, take care of husband and have kids. All women in the extended family, even the ones in my generation follow this rule. It's not their fault. It's actually J's fault. He not only had the first love marriage of the family, but brought in a girl from completely different world :)
P,
As scientist you venture into unknown to find logic and it is not that everytime answer is found on dot. So please learn to relax as it is not your fault. I know the expectations of our society. We have been married for 39 years now and we planned our first one after completing little over two years of marriage. We let our children take their own decisions. I can well understand your situation as even in arranged marriages it takes some time for the girl to find her place in new family. You may read my thoughts on happy family written in 3 parts in Oct-Nov last year. If you so wish, you may also contact me at mail id given in my profile. Best of luck.
Take care
Thanks for your encouraging words. Will surely check your blogs on happy family.
Post a Comment