A friend of mine broke-up with her bf couple of weeks ago. Another friend and I were talking about this sad situation today and this other friend said about the first girl "She was too demanding and expected too much from him. They were dating only for a year. One can't be demanding and expect their partner to give their 100% (will do anything and everything for you type of commitment) in such early stage of a relationship."
Does that mean one can be demanding and have higher expectations after few years of relationship?
I personally think one cannot. We do so just because we get more comfortable 'demanding' and 'expecting' things but I'm sure the effect is never good.
What do more experienced people say? In few years can I expect J to really stop reading slashdot when I am telling him about some very interesting piece of gossip?
5 comments:
hehe, in a few years you will both be different. More comfortable with each other and more understanding. And maybe you will not even bother talking to him when he is reading slashdot :) or not mind that he is reading slashdot when you are gossiping coz well, its only gossip after all. What I am saying is you will both have comfortable nooks in each others' lives.
Well... i think when the relationship ends, thats the general statement ppl come up with!!
There is nothing like stop expecting and demanding, but there is something like more adjusting and less expecting!!!
and i dont mind dropping on irrespective of u being self proclaimed "less social"... hehe!!!
Hmm...over the years one tends to be more demanding and more adjusting...if u know wat i mean...
like in the initial dating days both the gurl n guy are xtra-sweet n willing to compromise...as they get comfy..they compromise less BUT they u'stand each other more..so there are some things which they dont expect each other to compromise..where-as there are some things they demand be compromised!
Woow...i confused u!
Hmm..in a few yrs u wont care abt J reading snapshot while ur fillin him in on some gossip as long as he helps u do the dishes or mabbe the laundry ... Makes sense?
comfort level increases with the time u spend together, yes.
i don't know much... but in my opinion... ppl are nicer in the early stages. if that if when there are problems... then time isn't gonna solve them. another person might.
we spend too much energy trying to change the other person... when all we need to do is figure if u both are compatible. and this compatibility needs to be tested outside the bedroom as well.
@AM and Pavi: Thanks for your expert input. I think I am already reaching that stage of peaceful co-existence..just in 3 months! :D
@ankur: ok..but my question was..can we be more demanding after few years and not harm the relationship by doing so?
thanks for your loyal readership :)
@Rayshma: Totally agree with you on the change and compatibility part. That's what broke this girl's relationship. They were very different from each other and they kept asking each other to change.
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