You know technology has taken over your brain when...

...you are dreaming about something (real dream while sleeping at night), and you don't like the dream, and you imagine pressing the fast forward button on your TV remote, and the dream actually plays in fast forward mode.

Happened to me last night!!

Let me talk about some good times now..

Last 2 weeks have been so much fun that I am almost forgetting all my ailments and problematic co-workers mentioned in the last 2 posts. Here are some things I would probably remember forever from past few days:

1. My first trip to Canada. It felt very foreign because I landed first in Montreal (Quebec) and everything was very different from US and even other parts of Canada. Language, people, architecture, street designs, food....everything was French or French-inspired. I so want to learn French now.

2. Presenting my work at a great conference and listening to some great talks from some of the pioneers and upcoming stars in my field. It got even better when some of these people showed interest in my work.

When Dr. R came by my poster I was totally star-stuck and I think I was acting somewhat goofy too :D But after all this is the guy whose book has been my main to-go book for last 5 years and this guy thought my work is cool!!!

And when Prof. M asked me a question after my talk, I didn't even know that it was 'The Prof. M'...the first person to give us the basics in my field in the 1990s. I even explained some basics to her in answer of her question as I would do for any regular audience! :D But she was really sweet and she came up to me after the talk, congratulated me on my work and gave some great input. I am still re-living that moment everyday.

3. Meeting my old labmate and good friend U after 2 years, roaming around in Montreal, and having good pure girlie time. Rooming together, chatting till late hours, sharing fun and horror stories about our respective big fat crazy inter-state Indian weddings in the past year, our new families and of course our new 'husbands'. Sharing stories about our new labs and remembering our times at our old lab, discussing our other friends and of course, our good old advisor man.

4. Meeting some other people from grad school, including one of my favorite prof. He was very formal back in grad school, but now he acted like a senior friend. Gave me a big hug, told me that he is happy to see I'm doing well (he even knew about my recent publications!), had silly conversations about facebook, tracking ex-es and such :) and then just before my talk when I was most nervous he came up to give me encouragement. Made me very happy.

5. J joining me after the conference to go on our second mini-honeymoon. We never had time to go on a real honeymoon after our wedding. So we have recently started going on belated mini ones :) Fun times (including the numerous fights) exploring Montreal, Toronto and Niagara from the other side together.

7. The perfect last day of a perfect trip: Waking up to see sunrise over Niagara Falls from our 28th floor window. Few hours later, crossing a country border via road for the first time. Few more hours, and we get to see an aerial view of the Atlantic Ocean, entire Manhattan island including Empire State Building and Statue of Liberty. Late in the night the very same day, we see a more familiar aerial view...the Pacific Ocean, San Francisco city and the Golden Gate bridge. Finally coming back to own own comfy bed around midnight and falling asleep instantly :)

However, next day we had to get up and go back to work. :( But I am looking forward to the weekend. It is my birthday!!

It's official..I am old

Found my first gray hair today :(

Now the question is 'Chod diya jay ki maar diya jay?'

Kahani kaafi filmy hai

Oct 1999
My papa bought me my first computer as graduation gift.

Sometime in 2001
Initial excitement of new computer dies. I started looking for new things to try. I signed up for something called e-mail buddy (first transition from pen-friend, precursor of networking as well as matrimony sites). I received lots of 'wannabe friends' type mails from frustrated guys, but I also got a handful of nice real pen-friend style mails from guys and girls from different parts of India and even other countries (I am still friends with 5 of them and have met 2 till date).

March 2002:
I got the first e-mail from one of the above mentioned '2'. It was a simple mail showing interest in 'talking' and not dating. For some reason I found the simplicity interesting and honest and I replied. My reply was still full of sarcasm. The response was a one liner but a complete check-mate one liner. I was super impressed. Regular exchange of e-mail starts, then starts chatting (ah, old yim days!). Within few months we were fast friends. We still didn't know each others' real name.

August 2003
I moved to US. I had very few friends and no family in US at that time. My friendship with my anonymous e-mail buddy (AEB) became even stronger as he was also in another part of US. AEB helped me with buying calling cards, laptop and many such things that fresh-of-the-boat Indian students need help with. One day I gave my phone number to AEB because I desperately needed some advice (again to buy something online). AEB called. It was weird to talk for the first time. But then gradually we started calling regularly. It was fun to discover how much we had in common. By now we also knew each others' first name.

December 2003
It was winter vacation and I had nowhere to go. AEB had forced vacation and was planning a Florida trip with friends. His friends canceled last minute and somehow jokingly it was decided that AEB will come and meet me in snowing Ohio!! For the first time we asked each others' full real names.
I thought my parents will kill me. But surprisingly they said ok [I guess they trust me more than I think they should :) ]. I was prepared with knives in my cupboards in case a weirdo turns up.
AEB showed up. After a few awkward minutes it seemed like we were meeting some old-time friend. He stayed in a hotel in town for few days and kept visiting me everyday. Before he left for home, we more or less confessed how much we like each others' company :)

Jan 2004-July 2005
'Confession of likeness' turned into 'let's give this relationship a try' that then turned into 'looks like this might work, we need to tell parents'. All this while living 2000 miles apart, with occasional weekend trips across the country.

July 2005
Parents were notified and luckily they seemed more than happy. However, long-distance relationship continued.

August 2008
I finally finished grad school and moved to the other side of the country. Parents were really excited and demanded instant wedding. I still needed a new visa to visit India. So parents' were snubbed every time marriage was mentioned.

July 2009
My petition for new visa gets approved.

December 25th, 2009, 12.20am (Indian-Standard Time)
I am sitting in my parents' house in India, in front of the same very first computer, blogging with hands full of mehendi. In 5 hours, I leave for another part of India. In 2 days, I get married to my anonymous e-mail buddy, my best friend, my boyfriend, my fiance and my soon-to-be husband........J.


Note: This is the 100% honest version of this story and only J and I knew this version, until right now. :)

Yaaay for Kris Allen

Even though the judges (except Randy) and producers were heartless towards you (and unfairly partial towards Adam) throughout the season, we were not :) We rooted and voted for you and........YOU ARE THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!!! Hope you believe in yourself little more now and come up with some amazing records soon. Congrats Kris!!

---

Looks like I am having really good musical times. Lot of my wishes have been coming true these days! :D

Since I was 15 years old, my favorite Indian singer has been Jagjit Singh. Attending his concert was one of the things I had on my 'must do before I die' list. For some or other reason I kept missing the opportunity to fulfill this wish...until May 2nd, 2009. Yes, I got to see him live in concert and in spite of his age and poor health, he still had the same amazing voice that my mom calls 'God's voice'. 

Last night my AI wish also came true. J has been rooting for Kris from the Top-36 episode. I can't say I was going crazy for him like J has been, but he was among my top 3, until my other favorites left quite early in the competition. I never liked Adam or Danny. They might be great singers but their kind of music is not something I listen to. But most of the world around me seemed to be in love with Adam. So I was really not very hopeful last night. But....HE WON!! 

And the happy musical times don't stop here. I am going to Coldplay concert in July!!!!!!!! Happy, happy, happy...I am one happy girl right now...at least if I don't think of anything other than music :)

Goodbye 2008

You have been especially good to me.

At the end of most years, I feel that I had some good and bad times but nothing has really changed in my life. But you were different. I will remember you as that special year when I:
Got my doctorate degree.
Published my first two academic papers.
Got my first post doc job.
Moved to a new city.
Started an almost real life with J.
Started a new blog (and even managed to complete half-century just in time!)
And last but not the least, witnessed a historical change in world politics.

I know you have not been good to everyone around the world. Apart from the illnesses, heartaches and bad lucks, a lot of people lost their lives, loved ones, jobs, possessions, rights and faith this year due to senseless terrorism, wars, natural calamities, crashing economies and other such evils.

Hope the new year brings happy changes..and only happy changes..in my life, in every one's life.

Welcome 2009!

Durga Puja and me

I don’t believe in religion and their rituals. But anyone who has lived in Bengal or attended any Durga puja celebration even outside Bengal will know that these celebrations have very little to do with religion for most people. It is about taking time off from mundane daily life, dressing up, meeting friends and extended family, eating to heart’s content and so on. So being born a Bengali, Durga puja has been an integral part of my life. But with time my feelings towards this festival has changed again and again.

When I was a kid Durga puja meant lots of new clothes, no studies for 5 days and spending all these days in the Bengali Club of wherever we were living those days. My mom would dress me up early in the morning and then I was free to run around all day with the few Bengali friends I had in these places. It meant eating all kinds of good food and attending the cultural programs. The last part was kind of boring but since my mom always performed, so I was kind of proud to be given front row seats and all and stayed put for few hours without giving my parents any trouble. Overall it seemed to be really ‘special time’ and I used to eagerly wait for these few days of the year.

Things changed as I grew up and by the time I was in high school and college, the ‘special time’ feeling was lost. In spite of living in Calcutta at that time, I had absolutely no interest in participating in the madness going around. I still got lots of new clothes but going shopping in the crowded stored seemed like a crazy idea and the only reason I went shopping is because my mom dragged me to the shops. Having no classes was fun especially in college when I got full one-month holiday!! During the 5 days of puja I would mostly sit at home watching tv or reading Puja barshikis (big fat compilation of brand new novels, short and long stories, poetry, articles etc. that the various publishing houses bring out at this time of the year). At night I would sit in my 3^rd floor balcony in my PJs, watching the mad crowd passing by. Joining them seemed like the stupidest thing to do, and only severe blackmails from my parents and close friends could occasionally make me go out for pandal-hopping or eating out.

Then I moved to US to join grad school. Attending Indian functions was not at all on my mind when I was excitedly packing my bags before moving. But after 2 months of moving, it was Durga puja time. And suddenly I felt really sad that I was sitting in a class or lab and I can’t go shopping for new clothes, I can’t go out with friends for pandal hopping, I can’t eat all the junk street food. To my own surprise I was missing the crowd, the noise and the whole madness.  I spent all day looking at online puja tours of the famous pujas in Calcutta, the same ones that I never bothered to go to when I was living there.

Then some seniors in my university mentioned that they are driving down some 2 hours to attend the nearest puja the next weekend. Even before they could ask me, I was totally ready to go with them. Luckily I found two old salwar kameezes at the bottom of my suitcase. Got up early on a Saturday morning, wore one of the two clothes I found, rode with my friends all the way to the neighboring state and spent an ENTIRE DAY at that place. The most amazing part to me was that I was thoroughly enjoying the Americanized version of the well-known festival. All the ridiculously over-dressed people who changed clothes every few hours (as 5 days of puja was compressed into 1 day), one whole afternoon of Bengali cultural program with kids reciting Bengali poetry in American accent, the insane amount of food every few hours (again because of the compressed schedule) and even some of the religious rituals…everything seemed lovely, cute and fun. The ‘special time’ feeling was back.

 

But as the years passed everything seemed routine, predictable and boring. Every year I made sure to bring Indian clothes from home (even made others bring some the years when I couldn’t go home) and drove hours to attend the nearest ceremony, but all that seemed to be more because of not wanting to be counted as an outcast among the few good Bengali friends I had in the small town. I didn’t feel sad about being at work on the actual puja days or I didn’t spend time online watching the webcam tours anymore. The ‘special time’ feeling started to wear off again.

 

Its that time of the year again. I moved 2 months ago to a new city. I don’t have any Bengali friends here. And suddenly once again I’m sad. This weekend I did google search and discovered that there are 4-5 pujas within 50 miles radius of my home throughout this month (one even on the actual dates instead of a compressed weekend version!), I have one suitcase packed with Indian clothes accumulated from last few years, but I have no Bengali friends to go with. And suddenly once again I feel sad. Since last two days I’m missing all the things I did in that 1-day compressed Americanized Durga Puja during my grad school days. Some famous Bengali band was performing in one of the puja venues here last night. I felt sad that I am not attending it even though I don’t even know a single song by them and I’m pretty sure I won’t care about them even if I knew one.  But I kept playing random Bengali songs on youtube all of Sunday morning.

I think this has somewhat scared J. He gave a feeble hint that he might be willing to go with me to one of these places next week. Poor J…he avoids such social functions much more than I do. He doesn’t even go to Onam celebrations in spite of the temptations of his favorite Malayali food! Let’s see what happens next weekend.

Happy festive times everyone! 

New home

So after a real hectic move in a very short time I am finally in California!

There's a lot to be excited about. Being near J, new job, lovely weather, city life with public transport and actual restaurants. But the thing that I am most excited about is that there is a hindi movie theater just walking distance from my new home! :D

I think I can live here :)

Happy to be alive

I have been cribbing about work and all other problems. Today, I'm just thankful I'm alive and safe. What made me so grateful?

A tornado hit our area last night. My labmate and I were on the road when her fiance called and warned us that a tornado warning has been issued for our area. We were still about 15 minutes away from home. We were really scared because there was hardly any place to take shelter on either side of the road. The frequency of lightning and amount of rain kept increasing as we kept getting closer to our town. I don't know how I managed to keep driving with minimum visibility, hail hitting our car and a very shaky leg :) Finally we found a office to take shelter in. The care taker of the office was really nice, let us and few others in. We were sitting in their basement listening to the radio until the storm passed by. Some reports say that it touched down lightly just about a mile from where we were! No major harm done. Some uprooted trees and light posts and power failure in some areas. We came back home but the siren kept going on for another hour and news reporters kept telling that there might be another one coming. I was really scared all night. Was sitting in the middle of the house away from the windows and calling my friends and family. Went to sleep thinking that I might wake up in a different place :p

Fortunately I woke up in the same place :)

I am happy today to be not blown away and really grateful that no one was harmed.

And among all this, a dear friend, who has been like my elder sister since the day I arrived in this alien place, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl!!

Life is strange but not bad :)

"What you don't have you don't need it now"

I wish I could be that optimistic, but I am totally unable to make myself feel so today.
I desperately need two things that I don't have now: a successful experiment and a job offer.
When will that beautiful day come?

Mixed emotions

Got my first postdoc interview call letter last night. Feeling happy, excited, nervous and terrified all at the same time. The battle begins now...

Great minds think alike

P: I have no idea what I am doing with this experiment * *

Albert Einstein: If I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called research.

Fortune

My today's fortune on Orkut:
"You are next in line for promotion in your firm."

Promotion...hmm...now that sounds good.
It's a different issue that I don't work in a firm, there's no scope for promotion (at least in the same organization) and obviously there are no lines for it.

Here comes the sun

It's end of March. It hasn't been the brightest month of my life.
I am hoping April will bring some much needed success.
I am hoping April will bring some much needed good news.
Even though there's no sun outside and the forecast says it's not coming out in the next ten days either, I hope there will be plenty of reasons to feel sunny in the new month. For me and for anyone else who needs it.
Cheers!

Yaaaaaay...Happy snow day!!

Snow and rain on the same day = messy, slippery roads..and when you have to go to work on such a day, it becomes a really painful day. It is one such day here today. I came to work slipping and sliding 20 times on my way and was really worried about my return journey because today is the day when I teach from 3-9 p.m. But guess what, they just announced that all classes after 3p.m. are canceled!!!!....so now it becomes a happy snow day for me......yaaaaaaaay. Now I can go home and enjoy the snow from by window while drinking a cup of steaming hot chocolate....aaaahh. I am probably happier than my students for the canceled classes :D

Craving for heroism

Last evening I met my personal hero. Here's what happened:

I was really bored waiting for my adviser to show up for our late Friday afternoon lab meeting. To stay awake I thought I can use some sugar in my system and so I went to get a Snickers bar from the vending machine. I put the money, my change came back but the chocolate bar got stuck halfway. Slapping and hitting the machine couple of times didn't move it an inch and so I started leaving the place mourning my loss of 75 cents. At the very moment, a guy appeared from nowhere to get a cup of coffee from the next machine and he jumped in to get me my chocolate (I didn't even ask him to!). First he slapped, hit, rocked the machine..nothing happened..then he tried putting his arm inside the machine almost lying down on the dirty floor (I was scared that he might break his hand)..still nothing..then he pulled out a key chain with all kinds of tools on it (now I was very scared that he might break the machine and police will put both of us in jail)..but after almost 5 minutes of struggling on his hands and knees, he got up with my 75 cents chocolate bar in hand, offered it to me with a victorious smile and said "I can be really persistent". I felt soooo flattered :P

Even though we, today's women take pride in being strong and self-dependent and most of the times get annoyed if men around us try to be protective but maybe somewhere deep down we still like to be saved by an occasional knight in shinning armor :D

Beginning of a new experiment..

Random thoughts, weird thoughts, meaningless thoughts, unnecessary thoughts...my small brain is getting too crowded. I need a Pensieve like Dumbledore! A blog spot might do for now. Let's see.