Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Uncertainty is the Killer
O good-news-about-jobs, please, please, come my way soon. Any one of you will do. This uncertainty and fear of being jobless is killing me.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Characterless is NOT equal to Cool
Why does Indian media portray all the wrong habits as 'being cool' these days?
Chain smoking, drinking until one pukes, substance abuse, using filthy bad words in every sentence, having no attachment relationships, extra-marital affairs, wearing provocative clothes and dancing in most vulgar ways, being violent...all seem to be the essential characters for anyone to be popular and desirable now. I agree that they eventually show a 'good heart' in these characters, but I am afraid most people only learn the first part. I am seeing an alarming rate of these characters seeping into my younger cousins and family friends. It's not that people from my generation or earlier ones didn't do all these things. But, there seemed to be sense of shame attached to all these habits and people tried to keep their bad habits as secrets. But the younger people today seem to really think these things are 'cool' and are proud to showcase their habits!
My cousin, who is learning photography to be a professional, did her first practice photo-shoot that shows a guy smoking in most of the photos. She asked my opinion on the pics and I said I don't like the subject. She was really surprised and then said that she likes 'macho men'. When I asked "What's macho about filling your and everyone's lungs with poison?", she had no answer and said "Just relax. It's not that serious. It's cool." Hmm.
My Indian neighbor's son, who is in his early 20s and is a otherwise normal decent guy, has no problem using bad words, talking about girls as if they are objects, about pot smoking etc. openly on social networks with his friends. I am sure a large majority of guys talk trash with their friends, but I have never seen any of my friends or family members (who are my age or older), talking trash in front of the whole world. I have never heard my father use a single bad word in my life, and the only time I have heard J use some slang is when his college roommate calls, but that too he always goes in a different room to take the call.
When I read blogs, I see a lot of Indian girls in their 20s talk about being depressed (for standard reasons that people have in 20s in probably every generation), and they describe how they try to forget their sorrow and problems by drinking, smoking and partying, with great pride. Of course they should be proud of handling their problems in life, but shouldn't there be some shame about not being able to handle them in sober state? It seriously bothers me and scares me a lot about my little nieces.
The bad habit that has reached my generation the most seems to be extra-marital affairs. I heard quite a lot of those among my extended circle of friends within past few years, some of which resulted in divorces and breaking families for their little kids. On my recent trip to India, two of my friends jokingly (I hope) mentioned that they are thinking of having one too, so that they don't become the odd ones!
People always blame Western culture. Having lived in US for nearly 9 years now, I have to say we need to stop blaming others and look at our methods. If we do what they are doing in western world, we should also implement strict censorship regulations like them.
A little kid in India can go to their neighboring grocery store and buy cigarettes saying that I am buying it for my dad. In US you have to show a valid ID that tells the shopkeeper that you are over 21 years old. Same goes for alcohol. No will sell or serve alcohol to anyone below 21 years. In nightclubs, they will put a x mark on underage kids' hands so that they are not served any alcohol. I agree many kids go into lot of trouble to bypass the regulations, but at least it stops most of the regular kids from attaining habits that they will regret when they grow older. No such strict regulations exist in India as far as I know.
Just putting an 'A' in a movie certificate or a statuary warning, and bleeping a few things shouldn't be the end of all responsibilities. All movies and programs in US are rated based on age limit (general, 13 yr, 17 yr). Underage kids won't be allowed in a theater and they will be asked for ID if the age is not clear from appearance. For Indian movies, everyone is allowed to go for most movies with their kids of all ages! In US, all programs shown on regular TV before 9 pm are clean and the really bad ones come only after midnight. Cable TV channels do not have all the regulations, but they come with parental lock options. I think they have recently started the parental lock in India, but I haven't seen anyone using it. I noticed many people watching pretty horrible reality shows with their kids! So I guess we also need an education to keep up with the changes in media to safeguard our kids' minds.
But first, we need to stop showing that being characterless is cool. If you need to show someone practicing bad habits in a movie, please highlight that they are doing so because they are weak, confused and lost. Don't make them the popular, desirable person. Please don't make cheating on one's wife to be a fun thing to do.
I am really getting old. I wrote one of my longest post so far ranting on changing times and degrading moral values! :p
Chain smoking, drinking until one pukes, substance abuse, using filthy bad words in every sentence, having no attachment relationships, extra-marital affairs, wearing provocative clothes and dancing in most vulgar ways, being violent...all seem to be the essential characters for anyone to be popular and desirable now. I agree that they eventually show a 'good heart' in these characters, but I am afraid most people only learn the first part. I am seeing an alarming rate of these characters seeping into my younger cousins and family friends. It's not that people from my generation or earlier ones didn't do all these things. But, there seemed to be sense of shame attached to all these habits and people tried to keep their bad habits as secrets. But the younger people today seem to really think these things are 'cool' and are proud to showcase their habits!
My cousin, who is learning photography to be a professional, did her first practice photo-shoot that shows a guy smoking in most of the photos. She asked my opinion on the pics and I said I don't like the subject. She was really surprised and then said that she likes 'macho men'. When I asked "What's macho about filling your and everyone's lungs with poison?", she had no answer and said "Just relax. It's not that serious. It's cool." Hmm.
My Indian neighbor's son, who is in his early 20s and is a otherwise normal decent guy, has no problem using bad words, talking about girls as if they are objects, about pot smoking etc. openly on social networks with his friends. I am sure a large majority of guys talk trash with their friends, but I have never seen any of my friends or family members (who are my age or older), talking trash in front of the whole world. I have never heard my father use a single bad word in my life, and the only time I have heard J use some slang is when his college roommate calls, but that too he always goes in a different room to take the call.
When I read blogs, I see a lot of Indian girls in their 20s talk about being depressed (for standard reasons that people have in 20s in probably every generation), and they describe how they try to forget their sorrow and problems by drinking, smoking and partying, with great pride. Of course they should be proud of handling their problems in life, but shouldn't there be some shame about not being able to handle them in sober state? It seriously bothers me and scares me a lot about my little nieces.
The bad habit that has reached my generation the most seems to be extra-marital affairs. I heard quite a lot of those among my extended circle of friends within past few years, some of which resulted in divorces and breaking families for their little kids. On my recent trip to India, two of my friends jokingly (I hope) mentioned that they are thinking of having one too, so that they don't become the odd ones!
People always blame Western culture. Having lived in US for nearly 9 years now, I have to say we need to stop blaming others and look at our methods. If we do what they are doing in western world, we should also implement strict censorship regulations like them.
A little kid in India can go to their neighboring grocery store and buy cigarettes saying that I am buying it for my dad. In US you have to show a valid ID that tells the shopkeeper that you are over 21 years old. Same goes for alcohol. No will sell or serve alcohol to anyone below 21 years. In nightclubs, they will put a x mark on underage kids' hands so that they are not served any alcohol. I agree many kids go into lot of trouble to bypass the regulations, but at least it stops most of the regular kids from attaining habits that they will regret when they grow older. No such strict regulations exist in India as far as I know.
Just putting an 'A' in a movie certificate or a statuary warning, and bleeping a few things shouldn't be the end of all responsibilities. All movies and programs in US are rated based on age limit (general, 13 yr, 17 yr). Underage kids won't be allowed in a theater and they will be asked for ID if the age is not clear from appearance. For Indian movies, everyone is allowed to go for most movies with their kids of all ages! In US, all programs shown on regular TV before 9 pm are clean and the really bad ones come only after midnight. Cable TV channels do not have all the regulations, but they come with parental lock options. I think they have recently started the parental lock in India, but I haven't seen anyone using it. I noticed many people watching pretty horrible reality shows with their kids! So I guess we also need an education to keep up with the changes in media to safeguard our kids' minds.
But first, we need to stop showing that being characterless is cool. If you need to show someone practicing bad habits in a movie, please highlight that they are doing so because they are weak, confused and lost. Don't make them the popular, desirable person. Please don't make cheating on one's wife to be a fun thing to do.
I am really getting old. I wrote one of my longest post so far ranting on changing times and degrading moral values! :p
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Comfortably oblivious?
Me: Your cousin X has posted a new photo of his baby on facebook. Her first tooth came out.
J: Already? She is not even 1 year old yet!
Me: I think the first tooth comes out when babies are somewhere around 6 months old.
J: Really? My first tooth came out when I was in school!
Me (giving a really crazy look): WHAT?? What are you talking about??
J: I remember clearly my first milk tooth fell off when I was in 2nd grade.
Me: Huh! We are not talking about when they first fall off. Her first tooth just came out! She's not toothless anymore.
J (with a really surprised look): You mean babies aren't born with teeth?
Me (after being speechless for sometime): No. Haven't you ever seen any babies in your life????
J: (without any trace of shame) Of course I have. I just never paid attention to their teeth.
Me: Huh!
J: (with an expression that scientists have when they solve a problem) Aaaha! now it all makes sense why babies eat only liquid food when they are really young.
Whom did I marry???
J: Already? She is not even 1 year old yet!
Me: I think the first tooth comes out when babies are somewhere around 6 months old.
J: Really? My first tooth came out when I was in school!
Me (giving a really crazy look): WHAT?? What are you talking about??
J: I remember clearly my first milk tooth fell off when I was in 2nd grade.
Me: Huh! We are not talking about when they first fall off. Her first tooth just came out! She's not toothless anymore.
J (with a really surprised look): You mean babies aren't born with teeth?
Me (after being speechless for sometime): No. Haven't you ever seen any babies in your life????
J: (without any trace of shame) Of course I have. I just never paid attention to their teeth.
Me: Huh!
J: (with an expression that scientists have when they solve a problem) Aaaha! now it all makes sense why babies eat only liquid food when they are really young.
Whom did I marry???
Monday, February 13, 2012
P got to play..at least a little
It has been 6 months since I last posted here!! I often feel like writing but can't think of anything that does not sound like cribbing and whining. So today I am going to look back on my last post and see what are things I got done on my to-do and want-to-do list to make myself happy :)
I need to:
- Round up all lab work meaningfully.
Nope, not done. Seeing some meaning finally and some hope that I will get done in next 6 months, but definitely nowhere near done yet.
- Publish, publish, publish.
Not really done. Submitted two highly over-due papers. The main ones still need to be written up.
- Start applying for jobs.
Applied to 3 jobs. Got rejection from 1 already. Waiting to hear from the remaining 2. It is just so hard to even find a job one wants to apply when one has very specific ideas of the 'the job' but an average CV and a geographical restriction. Totally frustrating!
- Prepare application package which includes
- updating CV
- coming up with a research proposal
- coming up with course ideas for teaching jobs
- writing up my teaching philosophy
- and maybe thinking of finding some funding options for future too
Done except for the funding part. The job application deadlines forced me to finish this, but the quality of the final product is very questionable. So definitely need to improve all the above for future job applications.
- Prepare for the interview process.
Will do when anyone calls me for one :)
Until now it all sounds so morose :( Next ones should be better.
And all I want to do is:
- Go to India and visit my friends and family.
Yes, did this one!! :D :D It was a really short-trip and it was split in two because now I have to spend time with in-laws too. Still managed to meet almost all family and friends in my hometown and had a great time at in-laws place too :) Maybe short and simple trips to home are the way to go :)
- Go on a long vacation somewhere nice.
No long vacation other than the India trip, but got to see little bit of HongKong on our way back...thanks to a 14 hours long layover, easy immigration protocols in HK, and an over-enthusiastic labmate from HK to give confidence and info. Of course lazy J was against the idea at first as usual, but when I told him that it can count as my anniversary gift, he agreed, and at the end of the day, he actually admitted that he enjoyed the outing very much :)
Since the date of my last post, we actually went on another weekend trip to a nice sea-side place not too far from where we live. It was my birthday gift :)
- Do something fun.
I guess all the trips mentioned above covers this one too. A few specific fun moments:
- The long hikes on my birthday trip was most fun.
- Shopping for India trip was fun. Buying gifts for others is so much more fun than personal shopping!
- Going out for Kolkata sight-seeing, dinner and shopping with J and my parents together for the first time was special.
- Taking J and almost my entire extended family for lunch together was interestingly fun.
- Spending second anniversary with J and his whole family on a house-boat in Kerala was marvelous.
- Spending New Year's eve watching Malayalam and some heavily-accented hindi song and dance performances in a small-town Kerala beach resort was hilarious.
- The never-ending cable car ride to some faraway mountain with gorgeous views all around at HK was breath-taking.
- Read lots of non-work stuff.
Not lots off, but read quite a few books in last 2 months as I came back from India with a new stock of Indian-author books :)
Additional achievement..
Learnt how to make some yummy Kerala food from Mrs. M, and somewhat successfully re-created some of them after returning to US. This made her crazy happy and she praised me so much that my sis-in-law got little jealous and started cooking even more than she normally does..he he. When people have very little expectations from you, they get extra happy with your little efforts and achievements :)
OK now I feel much better. Time to go back to work now....
Monday, August 8, 2011
P wants to play :(
I completed my third year as postdoc last month. Everyone including my conscience tells me I need to wrap up my work here and find a 'real job' within the next year. This means I need to:
- Round up all lab work meaningfully.
- Publish, publish, publish.
- Start applying for jobs.
- Prepare application package which includes
- updating CV
- coming up with a research proposal
- coming up with course ideas for teaching jobs
- writing up my teaching philosophy
- and maybe thinking of finding some funding options for future too
- Prepare for the interview process.
And all I want to do is:
- Go to India and visit my friends and family.
- Go on a long vacation somewhere nice.
- Do something fun.
- Read lots of non-work stuff.
When the movies like Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara tells you to live life and all that, they forget to emphasize the fact that these guys could do all that fun stuff only because they had some really nice jobs to pay for those expensive activities!!! Bah!
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